Anne Lamott on the Love that Holds Us Invisibly

“When we have forgiveness for ourselves, it’s a miracle. That’s the gold coin.”

“When we are paying attention, we see how much love holds us invisibly.” 

This is the line that stayed with me most from Anne Lamott’s new, and 20th book, Somehow: Thoughts on Love. I read it during a stressful weekend and it illuminated the beauty of my family and friends’ care. As Anne says, “humanity is another synonym for God.” 

Anne’s gift is her rare ability to combine spiritual wisdom and laugh out loud humor into an operating manual for life, even, and especially, amidst its imperfection. In our conversation, we explore our ongoing journey to find our center, with each step depending on our capacity to surrender. While I appreciate acceptance as essential, I was curious whether we can invite grace in sooner.

Here’s what she had to say…

“I know exactly what it's like to not be able to let go and surrender because I'm there a lot…The Buddhists would say: Do you want to be happy? Or, do you want to be right? I want to be both at the same time…

When I first got sober in 1986, this woman that was helping me, Sharon Stiles, said: ‘You get to decide every morning: Do you want the fix? Or, do you want the serenity?’ I said: ‘Sharon, I want the fix, hello!’ But, I really wanted the serenity…

I like getting a big hit of self esteem from the outside world, but like anything from the outside, it's not going to last. It’s a fix. It's an inside job—The stuff that will be lasting, healing, and centering is inside us.” 

I’m thankful to Anne for making our conversation a guide on how to do the inside job, all leading us to the state of peace we deserve to reside in. 

Now, consider reflecting on an area where you’re surrendering in your own life. What is one way you might choose serenity today? What freedom might that choice offer you? 

With gratitude,
Jenna 

P.S. I was moved by Anne’s definition of love in our conversation and couldn’t resist sharing my favorite part here…

“There's a beautiful line in the Hebrew Bible…It talks about deep calling to deep. That could be the waterfall calling to the stars, but it could also be the deepest part inside me, inside my heart, calling to you; Calling to the redwood tree outside my window, the daffodils that just came up yesterday. Love is an energy…It’s everywhere we look.”