Daring to Be Affected
“The closest thing I can find to a meaning of life is finding a way to love. If we can all find a way to love life, I have to believe that catapults our existence into some holy other place.”
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine that you are writing your last letter to your loved ones. What might you share?
I learned about this exercise while preparing for this week’s conversation with Mettle Health Co-founder and hospice and palliative medicine physician Dr.BJ Miller.
My little brother, Adam, was the first person who came to mind. I knew I’d tell him how much I’ve loved being his sister. He happened to be sitting a few feet away from me, and as I looked up at him, with tears in my eyes, I wondered...Does he know that right now? Am I waiting to die before I tell him how much he means to me?
We all know it’s important to say what we need to say. Still, life is full. There’s always next time.
Dr. Miller teaches us not to take it for granted.
Decades of walking with patients through serious illness and end of life has shaped a personal goal for him ‘to love what he has while he has it,’ not to appreciate it when he’s lost it or is about to.
A beloved educator and speaker, Dr.Miller illuminates death as an invitation to live.
For him, that means opening himself up to feel — all of it.
“I am much more impressed by myself and others who dare to be moved, dare to be affected. Make me vulnerable. Let me be naked and exposed and feel things. Sustaining vulnerability? Now, that’s where the money is.”
It takes courage to open our hearts to be affected. Still, he shares this is often people’s end of life regret: When they acted from fear, instead of love.
“The closest thing I can find to a meaning of life is finding a way to love. If we can all find a way to love life, to love reality, I have to believe that catapults our existence into some holy other place.”
Dr. Miller awakens us to the countless ways we can embrace the gift of being alive. We delve into savoring our connection to life, expanding our capacity to feel, and seeking expansive experiences. His sincerity and vitality make an indelible impression on your heart.
Who comes to mind when you think about writing your letter? How might you tell them how much they mean to you this week?
Here’s to a year of being affected by each other.
Happy Holidays!
Jenna