How to Make Peace with Reality—with Pico Iyer
“The world can never be peaceful until we are.”
Dear Friends,
One night, the summer after I graduated from college, my dad suggested that I explore going to business school. After a difficult college experience, I proposed that I spend a year doing interviews to see if I gained similar knowledge.
My hypothesis proved to be right. Still, at 20, I had no idea how fulfilling it would be to learn, share, and grow in community, with you and hundreds of guests.
Conversation continues to be my most cherished classroom. Now, 11 years later, I’m excited to revisit the insights that inspired the deepest learning. They’re quotes and questions, passages and reflections, that I’d love to hear your perspective on too (by replying to the emails or leaving comments). I'll also be sharing new interviews from both 33voices and Fast Company.
As I reflected on where to begin, my mind immediately went to one of my deepest and wisest friends, the beautiful writer, Pico Iyer.
When I revisited our conversation, I found myself drawn to his insights about how to feel peace amidst uncertainty.
“We know that a life without hope is no life at all. So, how can we keep hope alive in the midst of the difficulties?
When I talk about the longing for peace, we all know that the world can never be peaceful until we are.”
Three insights from our conversation help us answer that question…
The first is to be still. When Pico was 29, he was called to leave his fast-paced life in New York City to live a quiet life in Kyoto. During his first year in Japan, he met a zen master who imparted this wisdom: “Remember, the whole point of this meditation practice is not in the going away from the world. It’s in the coming back to it.” The purpose, he described, is learning how to love and give the best of yourself to others.
Stillness is a cornerstone of Pico’s life, as well as his invitation. Whether through art or meditation, reading or walks, he encourages visiting “that place where you can access your best self” each day. By restoring our sense of presence, stillness transforms our capacity to connect with ourselves, each other, and the world.
Next, is to find your center, which he illuminated with an insight from Pope Francis…
“When he prays, he doesn't ask for an answer to a question or a problem. He prays for the calm and courage to live with the fact of answerless-ness…There is no answer to a virus, forest fire, or car accident. So, how can we come to a calm, while acknowledging that so much in life we can't control or anticipate? We are the servant of life, rather than its master.”
Surrender and trust are among the highest spiritual disciplines. I was touched by the image he painted of this through the Islamic tradition. It was especially meaningful, given my grandfather’s favorite word was Inshallah (if God wills it).
“The word Islam can be translated as surrender. There's nothing more moving than going to a mosque and seeing hundreds of people with their hands cupped towards the heavens, as if to say: I'm in your hands. Whatever the heavens choose to work out through my life, that's the right thing…That's what faith is about: Absolute surrender to something you can never see or understand.”
Third is to seek beauty. I often find myself repeating his insight (especially the bolded line) when I need this reminder…
“It’s the longing for paradise that gets in the way of paradise and prevents us from seeing it.
When you step into a temple in Kyoto, there's often a Japanese sentence written on the ground that means: “Look beneath your feet.” In other words, this is paradise. Don't look into the future. This is the paradise we have to discover and make.
We’re all longing for a better self and a better world. The pandemic was such a difficult time. It made me think that the only paradise I can find is right here, in the midst of real life, in the face of death. This is how I'm going to have to find my joy and contentment, not knowing what's going to happen today or tomorrow, living in that uncertainty that the whole globe shared…
I remember Virginia Woolf said something like: You don't get peace by turning away from real life. All of us, whoever we are, are dealing with difficulties with our loved ones, jobs, finances, you name it. But, that doesn't mean that we can't lead a fulfilled and happy life.”
As you reflect on Pico’s wisdom, consider which of these three practices will restore you most—stillness, centeredness, or seeking beauty? Then, choose one and pause for a moment to create that moment of peace for yourself.
With love,
Jenna