Love as a Compass Through Loss
“Love doesn’t die…Grief is the repeated experience of learning to live in the midst of a significant loss.”
“You don’t have to worry about me because God never forgets about me.”
I’ll never forget the morning my grandfather shared this with me. I was 19 and he was comforting me from his hospital room. My fears were eased by his assuredness. His voice was strong, despite new diagnoses. His faith was even stronger.
My grandfather went on to have a miraculous recovery, with the following years being some of his best. When his time did come, his faith brought him peace during a difficult transition.
I wear his words around my neck and hear “God never forgets about me” whenever I’m in doubt. I’m especially heartened when his story offers solace to friends. Beloved by everyone who knew him, it feels fitting that he’s still guiding us through.
Aside from this wisdom, revisiting our memories has been challenging. That is, until I read Marisa Renee Lee’s book, Grief Is Love. Her perspective on legacy was a turning point for me…
“I’ve come to realize that so much of legacy is about values. It’s an interior thing that shows up in how we treat people. I have a deep internal commitment to the things that my mother raised me to believe in — kindness, generosity, joy, and having fun.
When I try to translate that externally, I start with myself, asking: How am I living? Am I living into these values? I also try to find ways to share them with others.”
In our conversation, Marisa discusses navigating our healing journeys, from giving ourselves permission to grieve to creating a healing circle of family and friends. Her definition of grief — as “the repeated experience of learning to live in the midst of a significant loss” — helps us cultivate the acceptance and grace we need to find our center in a new reality.
What I appreciate most about Grief Is Love is Marisa’s restorative approach to grief. She invites us to “think about how you have been changed by their life and their love to ensure they live in the hearts and minds of others from beyond the grave, through you.”
Let’s reflect on her question: What about a loved ones’ values did you always admire? How might you embody them this week?
Sending love to all who are grieving,
Jenna