What Story Are You Telling Yourself?
“Your past shapes your present. It doesn’t have to define your present.”
What are three things you can let go of that would make you feel lighter?
I reflected on this question on a weekend drive inspired by Suleika Jaouad’s newsletter.
My anxiety around a circumstance stemming back to childhood arose. I imagined how free I would feel without the worry that transcended past, present, and future.
Still, I’d tried unsuccessfully to do this since childhood. I let the thought slip away and kept driving. Then, psychotherapist and Frame Co-founder Sage Grazer’s insight came to mind: When you resist something, you give up your power. When you accept it, even if it’s not what you hoped for, you claim your agency.
Sage’s wisdom offered a newfound clarity: My determined efforts to change a circumstance that I can’t control, and blamed myself for when I couldn’t, weren’t being proactive. They were pseudo-resistance.
I wondered what might happen if I accepted the situation and took action when it arose, rather than anticipating it. How much energy might I reclaim if I let go of that narrative?
I committed to rerouting my old thought patterns with no expectations. Then, something surprising happened: The reframing led to a non-reactive response that still shocks me today. Now, I calmly address the situation when necessary and move on.
“Your past shapes your present. It doesn’t have to define your present.”
In this episode snippet, Sage illuminates the impact of the stories we tell ourselves and how to rewrite them to serve our wellbeing.
What story may be holding you back? How might you claim your agency to rewrite it?
Wishing you peace,
Jenna